Preeminent Resurgence

The Doritos as we once knew it will soon be resurrected from an orange-golden omnipotent crypt. The Doritos have always been known for having no parallel and consistently being unprecedented. Bam has intrigued me and fear not – this is no coincidence, this is the exact profound moment we have all been waiting for.

As Bam previously stated, we will be returning this week. It’s time you all awaken from your slumber, and thus vengeance is near. All I have to say is, if you aren’t a Dorito you’re doing it wrong and will merely remain wretched for some time to come. Your future is forlorn which is merely heart-rending because I’ve been itching to get it; or even better give it to you inconsiderable armies. Send my condolences.

With that being said, I would like to acknowledge all of the loyal and dedicated Doritos who have stuck with the army even up until this point. Although the saying goes “the bigger they are, the harder they fall” six months after our death and our chat remains filled daily. This is beyond incredible and deserves recognition, as a result of this it has encouraged many legends to return home. It’s time now to triumph and annihilate excess facades.



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